It Was Good For Me That I Was Afflicted

 

It must be disheartening to know I have had to heal from you

that your betrayal is one of the reasons for  

the crisp

clear 

obvious lines I now flaunt 

You must have suffered some disappointment by my loss of poor self-esteem

because I had found the courage to become inconvenient for you 

You must have had some pondering days 

Because I was good to you 

and you knew I never deserved it

But 

it was good for me that I was afflicted 

It was good that your big, bad, broad, petty back was turned when I truly needed you because I would still be hanging on to your coattails

It was good for me that I was afflicted 

I had to fight my way through my own self-inflicted wounds to wind up in my healing alone

I was overly confident about my position in your life

I thought you were a day one even though you weren’t around since day one 

But had the feeling like a day one

Maybe because I treated you like a day one and things that happened felt like day one kinda mentality but 

You proved me wrong 

I mistook moments and memories for loyalty and trust 

Instead 

I was just the placeholder 

My mistake 

So

It was good for me that I was afflicted 

What reason couldn’t salvage

Revelation cleared the way

“I can see clearly now…” [sing, jimmy cliff]

Still

I hope it was disheartening that I had to heal from you 

I was especially good to you not because you were good to me too but 

because I wanted to be good to you 

and you knew that

It wasn’t easy letting you go. 

It took me too long to notice that I was going where I was only being tolerated but 

better a tad tardy than to still be naive enough to think I belonged

I want to believe that it was disheartening that I had to heal from you 

But your ego put on a good show so maybe your head is still stuck up your arse and you still believe I owe you an apology 

That’s how I knew that It was good for me that I was afflicted

You threw enough shade to repopulate the California forest 

As I laughed on the sidelines 

Tending to my healing 

I saw more than I bargained for but 

Yes

It was good for me that I was afflicted 

I pray that you find comfort

especially because I am better because of your betrayal 

I probably should send you flowers and a thank you card but I won’t get ahead of my gratitude for you crapping on me

Yeah

It was good for me that I was afflicted 

I was already in pain, you threw salt in the wound and I got a double portion of healing worth living for

So, even if there wasn’t an ounce of regret, you still served a purpose and God always had this plan. 

So, thank you. 

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