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Fall back

I am trying so hard to save me from myself. 
Old habits die hard. 
Old habits are stubborn, like me. 
I have to remember that things are different now. 
I am older and stronger and probably wiser.
Yes, wiser. 
I question everything because that's just how I am? 
Or maybe I should try to 'go with the flow'?
I'm really trying to save myself.
I wish it was as easy as the words rolling off my tongue. 
Like I said, old habits. 
Old habits trying to suffocate the new. 
It's really not that old habits were all bad. 
Sometimes they were too good. 
I have a habit of giving second chances, even third and fourth. 
I have a habit of trusting your words because i strongly believe that as my friend, I could trust your word, the same way you could trust mine. I was wrong. 
I have a habit of believing that we are all good with good intentions. Then I realized no matter how good those intentions are, the actions rarely reciprocate. 
Honestly, it is hard being cold. I don't know how others do it. 
Now, I'm being careful with my words and more importantly with my heart. 
Poor old thing has been through enough. 
Poor old thing is still beating. Resilience. 
I am still trying to save myself but old habits die hard. 
Old habits are stubborn, like me. 

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